French translation class HT Week 1

I'm going to put up notes to my weekly French translation homework here this year. I was gutted after the first translation class of Hillary Term, in which it was announced that I didn't get the prize for collections and my translation work, although 62, contained some embarassing mistakes and malapropisms. Farha got the most obscure vocabulary items that popped up in the mini revision test Jane gave us before class today. I must say my results were appalling. Lucky we were not marked. I should take French seriously now and putting notes up here will help me with my translation.

Ivor Winters met me...: my translation was rencontra, but apparently it implies that the person met me for the first time. What the English is really trying to say here is alla me chercher.

railway depot: I didn't know what it meant. It's gare ferroviaire. The French is clearer.

in early September/of late summer: I left the early out and translated 'late' into an awkward en déclin. Should be vers le début de septembre or au début de septembre and de fin d'été.

He took me to the room he had obtained for me...: my version was il m'amena, but a better one would be il me dirigea, because amener sounds literally physical.

a dinner he would make himself: tout seul vs. lui même (Farha's version)

young son: jeune fils. I don't know how the heck I translated it into petit fils. That didn't even sound like 'grandson' to me.. ><

I had been crossing the country... : was badly translated by me into Je vins de traverser le pais sans cesse. First, it should have been je venais de. But that wouldn't be right to use here either. Jane gave je traversais le pais depuis... So good! I should get used to the depuis + simple tenses instead of perfects. It's more French.

creative writing: création littéraire. I thought it would be écriture d'invention, which I saw on Profil study aids and was quite should would be right. But apparently, as a university course, 'creative writing' should be création littéraire. Écriture d'invention sounds too... juvenile. It's about writing stories.

... be working directly under Winters: sous la direction de. Directement sous sounds too hierarchical. If sous la direction de is used 'directement' can be omitted.

ramshackle car: voiture déglinguée (Alex's version), voiture délabrée (my version).

burned down to a gold: English. It meant to say the house is dried by the sun, not burnt by fire. The metaphore of burning can be kept in the French: brûlé en or. I really should learn to know how to use 'en' in the sense of 'become', and 'as'!! I translated 'a gold' to une pièce d'or which means a gold coin. So stupid.

he made me comfortable: il me mit à l'aise. Confortable is too literal to be correct.

the heat comes at you harder: as for the 'comes at', atteint is probably the best word. Farha remembered Camille's tapper from last term which would sound good as well. As for 'hard', I rendered it into a nice 'accablant' and changed the sentence a little but apparently you can just say fort.

half-orchard: moitié verger or être à moitié verger. The difference between démi (which I used) and moitié is that démi is mathematical measurement, whereas moitié is more abstract. Démi verger would literally be half a orchard, and the other half is set for other purposes.

giving me a drink... : m'offrant quelque chose à boire. Stop using donner!

chattering into vacancy: causer dans le vide. I used causer vainement because I didn't quite get the English.